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Messing with the wrong girl

Messing with the wrong girl

Messing with the wrong girl
October 11
11:09 2018

Today, I dedicate this space to the latest #MeToo story I have heard. There is plenty to write in this topic, but what this girl did, or what she is going to do, really made me think. I admire her courage and commitment to her beliefs. This young beautiful woman narrates that she went to a concert with her mom and grandma, and after the concert, this happened:

“I felt something hit me from behind, specifically hitting the right side of my butt. I turned around, a group of guys were walking behind me. They snickered. I thought, “It was probably an accident. People bump into each other all the time at concerts.” I thought I heard someone say, “Do it again.” But I dismissed it, thinking I probably misheard.  Less than a minute later, I felt someone slowly run their fingers over my right butt cheek from the bottom & squeeze. I was wearing a long, velvet skirt – I could feel it all – and the heat of his hand. I whipped around, I pushed him backward and I screamed “Don’t you ever f***ing touch a woman like that. That man just grabbed my ass!” He gave me a dopey face and put his hands up in the air, as if pleading innocence. Two security personal who happened to be standing by grabbed him and motioned for me to follow. I was hot with anger.”

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the story goes on: “As we walked toward security, his friend ran up to match my pace. He said: Come on, it’s a compliment. How can you blame him? It’s not his fault you have a nice ass.” And that CAUGHT MY ATTENTION.

Here are all the main points of a #MeToo situation, that I will address one by one. In which world, a woman’s looks makes her responsible for what a man wants to do to her? I guess I will go and rob an Apple store, because “It is not my fault that the new iPhone is so sleek.” Are you serious? That idiotic man was probably trying to be funny or flattering, but he quickly noticed that it wasn’t flying, and then he said “It’s not a big deal, this stuff happens all the time. You’re overreacting.” Another favorite line of these men. It is true. It happens a lot, and we have probably grown up to believe that it is ok, or as I see it, it is too much trouble to fight it. That still doesn’t make it right!

Then the next thing that happened: Denial. “My friend didn’t do it. He would never do that. She is a liar.” Of course, then we go on and discredit the victim, the same way that Christine Ford got discredited, most of Bill Cosby’s victims got discredited for years, all the victims of the molester in chief, and a probably too long of a list of women who can’t “prove” that those things actually happen.

Then the moment of truth: The police gets called and she was asked whether she wanted to press charges. She was also told it would be a painful process and hard to prove. She hesitated, and then these big questions arose: “Why WASN’T it a big deal that man felt entitled to not only touch my butt once, but confidently and invasively grab it for a second time? Why was I expected to take it as a compliment? Why was I worried about burdening the police officers with paper work? Why was I worried about being believed? Why was my first reaction anger, quickly followed by self-doubt? Why was it “just an ass grab”?”

When the police returned and asked about her decision to press charges or not, she answered with the same confidence that he grabbed her butt. A minute later, the man was handcuffed, and walked out. He would need to post bail, hire an attorney and go to court. As this girl says, maybe she won’t be able to prove it before the judge, but for sure this man -and probably his friends and many men who might read this- will think about it twice before the next ass-grabbing episode.

Last time I checked this story on Facebook it had 12 thousand comments and over 40 thousand shares. I am 47 years old. I have a daughter that just turned 18. I am sure that what you did will make the world she will live in a little better for women than the one I, you and so many others have lived in. You have become a new #MeToo hero. Thank you, Michelle.


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Edición Virtual | #332 | 14 de Febrero 2019

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